What we are
by nursepower
Summary: Bella thinks she knows what the Cullen's are, but does she?


Bella thinks she knows what the Cullen's are, but does she really?

It's Bella's first day at Fork's High.

BELLA'S POV

Oh my God! They are here. They are really here. Before it was only 2, now there are 5 and they are so much more beautiful than I remember. I've waited for them for 12 years. I've waited for it to be my time and I am ready.

"Bella, stop staring. They don't like it when people stare", I heard the girl I'd just met, Jessica say.

"I can't help it. They are so beautiful", I replied to the girl, as the table chuckled around me.

"The Cullen's have that effect on people", I heard from Angela as she laughed.

The 5 of them suddenly turned to look at our table and I couldn't turn away. If I thought seeing them in passing was something, seeing them looking towards me was indescribable. I felt my heart speed up as I caught eyes with the only male not partnered with another.

Seeing his perfect features I realized how unworthy I suddenly felt to even be looking at him. He looked at me in wonder, like he was trying to figure me out. He must know that I'm the one. It can't be a coincidence that I am here when they are and I refuse to let them tell me it's not my time again. They tried when I was 5. It was my mother's turn but not mine. They said I needed to age some…I was too young. But they promised they'd see me again and here were some of them. They must be here for me.

The bell rang breaking his and my stare and I saw him head out of the cafeteria with his friends. I knew I would soon join them and felt pure joy wave through me.

EDWARD'S POV

"The Cullen's have that effect on people", I heard Angela say and immediately turned to see who she was talking with. The new girl was looking at me…at my family really, but it was moments before our eyes met. She looked at me with pure devotion and I couldn't figure out what was going on. I listened hard to hear her thoughts but nothing came to me. I could hear Jessica….berating the new girl in her head because she had captured my attentions. I could hear Mike, going over different strategies of asking the new girl out….but from her….nothing.

'Edward, what is she thinking?' I heard Jasper in my head.

'I don't know…why?'

'Her emotions are driving me insane. She has so many at this moment…excitement, disbelief, devotion, acceptance, happiness, sadness, and now determination'.

'I can't hear a thing', I reply to my brother as the bell rings forcing my eyes off the plain, yet beautiful girl. She had me intrigued that I am certain.

'Her name is Bella. You keep calling her new girl. It's Bella', I heard Alice inside my head now.

"Bella", I whisper out loud. Why do I suddenly feel like things are about to change?

BELLA'S POV

I walked into biology to see one of them in my class. After checking in with the teacher I am told to sit next to Edward Cullen. He raises his hand and I am delighted. It's him! As I walk closer I see his expression change to one of hatred and I don't understand. I'm confused as I nervously take my seat. He cautiously moves the planera sample towards me and takes one for himself. He seemed so tense through out the class and I wanted to put him at ease. I didn't want him to hate me. I don't even know what I did, but it was my time. I had to smooth things over. I took a piece of paper from my binder and began to write.

EDWARD'S POV

I hated her. How dare she come into my life and smell as good as she does. She was testing my self control and I was losing. I was contemplating how to get her alone when she actually slid me a note.

I opened it and began to plan my attack at her words.

'I know what you are. Meet me in the forest behind the school after class'.

She didn't know it but she'd just signed her death warrant.

BELLA'S POV

I entered the covering of the woods behind the school and I knew he was already here. I couldn't see him but I felt his presence. I dropped my bag to the ground and kept my hands clenched hiding the scalpel I took from the lab. If he refused to take me I would tempt him. I'd seen the others do it with mom and knew just what to do.

"I know you're here", I called out. "Please don't be afraid. I wont' hurt you".

I watched as he gracefully dropped from a tree limb quite a few feet from me.

"You think I'm afraid of you?" he scoffed. "If anything you should be afraid".

"I'm not. I'm ready. I've waited a long time for this", I told him.

"What is the matter with you? DO you want to die?" he yelled at me.

"I don't view it as dying. I'm moving on to something better. Please I know it's my time."

"No…No!" I heard him arguing with himself. I was about to lose my chance. I knew he was going to tell it wasn't my time and I came prepared. He was taking me to see my mother whether he wanted to or not. I would tempt him.

The others told me what tempted them. He needed to see how serious I was. He needed to see that I would spill my own blood to go with him.

"This is for you", I told him, placing the hidden scalpel to my neck. When his eyes finally met mine I slid the scalpel an inch down my neck.

Before the blood had even leaked to the surface he was upon me. Holding my arms he held me against the tree. I wasn't going anywhere. He didn't need to hold me but he did. I breathed in contentment, closed my eye and turned my head to the side exposing the now bleeding cut fully to him. All he had to do now was take it.

I heard him growl as he descended on my neck. I felt him draining me and I was at peace. His teeth were so sharp they cut through my skin like butter and I barely felt anything. I was getting weaker and knew I was about to fall, but he saved me. His arm came around my waist holding me to him as he continued my transformation.

EDWARDS POV

'Edward, run! Edward NO! Holy SHIT! Don't breathe…don't breathe', I heard my siblings yelling in my head, but I would not stop. I would take this one time. She wanted me too. She provoked it and I was not going to deny her. I needed this blood. The family would have to understand. Surely Alice saw her cut herself open for me. It wasn't like I attacked her…she offered. All these things ran through my head as the girl grew weaker in my arms.

I heard my family running towards us as she lost consciousness. I just needed another minute and I'd be done, but Emmett slammed into me like a two ton brick, throwing us apart. Before I could do anything Jasper and Emmett were both on me, holding me down, while Alice and Rosalie went to Bella.

"She's not dead yet. We'll take her to Carlisle", Alice called over her shoulder, lifting the girl and running as fast as she could towards home.

"She's mine!" I growled at my brother's but they refused to let me go and between the two of them I was no match.

ALICE'S POV

"Carlisle!" I yelled as I rushed Bella to a spare bedroom, and placed her on the bed. He appeared in seconds to her side and started an exam.

"It's too late to stop it. She's going to turn", he finally turned towards me with a look of resignation and utter confusion.

'Jasper?' he questioned in my head.

'Edward', I replied.

'Edward!' he all but shouted.

"It wasn't his fault", I voiced out loud and then showed him through my mind what had happened.

BELLA'S POV

Fire… it was all I felt. Did I make a mistake? Had I done something wrong in my short years? Did I end up in Hell instead of Heaven?

"It's okay Bella. It's normal to feel burning", I heard a beautiful female voice say beside me.

It's a test I realized. I would pass this test. I would suffer in silence and prove I was worthy to be here. I knew God wouldn't give me more than I could handle.

ESME'S POV

Bella was on her 3rd day of transformation. Alice told us she had just a few more minutes left before she would wake. We waited around her bedside and heard her start to mumble.

"strength to endure…beg of you Lord… grant me strength…"

"She's praying", Carlisle informed us.

I hated to see anyone suffer, but I hated it even more knowing it was my soon to be daughter. I leaned down beside her and took her hand. I unclenched it and placed it in my own.

"Oh Sweet Bella. Why did you do this? What do you think we are?" I asked rhetorically. Imagine my surprise when a scene appeared on the wall.

It was of a little girl…she couldn't be more than 5. She was holding a teddy bear by one arm and coming down the stairs.

Bella's Memory

"_Mommy?" the little girl called. _

The scene shifted to show us the whole view as if a movie were playing. Little Bella came to the bottom of the stairs and we saw 2 young vampires, holding what I assumed to be her mother. The female was feeding off the mother while the male turned his attention to Bella. He knelt down to the little girl.

"_Hey what's your name?" _

"_Bella…who are you? And what's wrong with mommy?" _

"_My name is James and this is Victoria." _

_James took a look around the room with its various religious paraphernalia and made up his story. _

"_We are angels. She's needed in Heaven". _

"_She's going to be with God now?" little Bella questioned. _

"_Yes". _

"_Can I come too?" _

"_Oh no sweetheart. It's not your time yet. But I promise we'll find you again soon. It'll be your time and I'll take you with me then. Okay?" _

"_Okay", the little girl replied. _

_A noise was heard and James and little Bella turned towards the stairs to see a man walking down rubbing his eyes. _

"_Bella what are you doing up?" _

"_Daddy Phil…daddy Phil….the angels are taking mommy" she exclaimed happily._

"_Oh Bella, what did we tell you about liii….what the hell?" Phil exclaimed finally looking up. _

"_Bella do you think Phil wants to go with mommy? Is that okay with you?" James played with her. _

"_Oh yes", little Bella jumped up and down clapping. "Yes….Daddy Phil loves mommy…take him too." _

_Then she turned to the man named Phil. _

"_Daddy Phil…I'll be brave. I'll be a brave girl for you and mommy. I know you'll be safe with God. He loves us". _

"_Bella get away from him…he's not good". Phil yelled trying to get Bella to come towards him. _

_Bella instead hugged James leg. "Of course they are good. They're angels". _

_Bella watched excitedly as James flew up to Daddy Phil, cracking his neck in one motion, then tearing into his flesh and draining him. _

"_Mommy says it's not nice to bite people", Bella scolded the angel. _

_The female one came up behind her and explained. "It's easier to make the transformation from human to angel when there is no blood in the body." _

"_Mommy will be an angel?? Like you and James?" Bella asked happily. _

"_Of course!" Victoria told the girl as James finished his meal. _

"_Bella we have to go now, but remember…we'll come back for you one day when you're a little older and it will be your time to be in Heaven, okay?" James explained. _

"_Okay….bye bye…." Bella waved as the two beings left the house. _

The scene on the wall cut off and disappeared.

EVERYONE'S POV

Everyone began talking at once.

"Boy did she ever bark up the wrong tree", Emmett found the situation hysterical.

"Stupid human", Rosalie was mad.

"That must be her power…the ability to recall", Carlisle was in awe.

"I've seen this before. It's truly amazing…if she has it like another I knew, she'll be able to read a book and show us how it plays out just like she did a moment ago. It doesn't have to be her history." Jasper was factual.

"Why do I see all the windows in here exploding?" Alice questioned her current vision.

"Carlisle, what are we going to do? How do we explain this to her?" Esme was worried for Bella as she cuddled up to her husband.

"Um….guys?" Edward was the only one still turned to Bella and noticed her eyes had opened. She was taking everything in around her.

BELLA'S POV

I came out of the fire exhausted, yet with renewed energy…which totally didn't make sense. Was I tired? Or did I want to get up and do something? I couldn't quite tell. I looked around and noticed I was lying on a soft bed. I was comfortable. The room was lit but not bright, the windows were incredible. They were everywhere. The walls to the outside were like one big window. How would you even make something like that? I heard many voices in the room at once and slowly turned my eyes towards the sound. It was them… the angels. They were all standing around talking, waiting for me to awaken.

My personal angel was looking right at me. He had no readable expression on his face and I wasn't sure what to make of it. It seemed to take him a moment to realize I was looking back at him and that's when he alerted the others that I was indeed awake. 6 heads immediately snapped in my direction and I saw many expressions. Worry, excitement, anger, humor, indifference, guilt, and intrigue were all around me. (Can you guess who is who? lol)

No one said anything. I guess they were waiting for me. I smiled my biggest smile and told them what I thought.

"You're all so beautiful!"

Wait a minute. That's not my voice. Maybe angels' voices sounded better? More musical? I liked it. No one replied so I tried again.

"Is my mom here? Her name is Renee and I'm sure she'd be glad to watch over me so you all can go back to whatever it is you need to do if you could just tell how to get in touch with her."

What's wrong with these 'people'? Am I talking out loud?

"Hello? Can you hear me?"

That seemed to get a response out of them as the older female…the motherly looking one leaned down to my bedside.

"Oh honey we can hear you. We just don't know what to say at the moment. There's been a big mistake. You shouldn't be like this", she explained. She seemed like it hurt her emotionally to speak with me about it.

"Don't say that!" I yelled louder than expected, sitting up faster than I thought possible. The mother figure was pulled quickly away from me by the man next to her. He seemed afraid I was about to hurt the lady.

"I wasn't going to hurt her", I tried to explain, guilt evident on my face.

"It's okay sweetheart. My husband, Carlisle, is just a bit overprotective."

"I understand but I don't want you to think this was a mistake. I know it's not. It's meant to be. Do you know James or Victoria? They are also angels and if I could find them they'll tell you. They told me it would be my time and I was and am ready…please believe me when I say I'm okay with this. I am very happy!"

"Not for long", a big burly guy said under his breath, but I still heard him. My attention snapped to his face and he realized I'd heard him.

"Hey I'm Emmett", he introduced himself to relieve the awkwardness of the situation.

"Bella", I replied.

"Oh we know who you are", he seemed to be teasing but serious at the same time.

Things got silent once again. It seemed everyone was gathering their thoughts and I couldn't understand why no one was saying anything.

"She's getting really confused", the blond headed boy told the room. How did he know that?

"I don't know why everyone is tiptoeing around her. It's not that hard to say", the beautiful blond female said with irritation in her demeanor.

"Rose, don't", my angel warned.

"No Edward…no one else will say it then I will". She turned towards me. "We are not angels you idiot."

"Rosalie!" the mother gasped.

"But…I don't understand. You look just like them". I tried to explain to the girl who was obviously not happy with me.

"God, how stupid can one human be? James and Victoria were not angels. They murdered your parents while you stood by and watched!"

Her last comment hit a sore spot with me. I was reminded of when I was 6. It was a few months after my mother and Phil died. I had to go live with my Grandmother and she blamed me for their deaths. I don't know how it happened but suddenly my memory came to life right in front of me.

BELLA'S MEMORY

_Grandma was crying while looking at a picture of mommy. I brought her a tissue and climbed in her lap. She didn't seem to like attention from me and told me to please get down. _

"_Grandma it's okay. The angels took them and they are with God now. Mommy wouldn't want us to be so unhappy." _

_Something in grandma snapped then, because she yanked me off her lap by the arm and pulled me down the hall. _

"_Grandma, you're hurting me", I tried to keep up with the pace she was moving. _

"What is that? How are you doing that?" I screamed from my spot on the bed. How were they seeing these things that were in my mind? They ignored me as the memory got worse and worse.

"_How stupid can you be Bella? They were not angels! Those people murdered your parents while you stood by and watched!" _

_She pulled me to the empty pantry, unlatching the hook latch and opening it. _

"_Why didn't you do anything to help them!" she yelled at me before shoving me inside and slamming the door closed in my face. _

_Pitch darkness engulfed me. Grandma knew I was scared of the dark. _

_I sobbed as I banged on the door. "I'm sorry Grandma. Please don't leave me in here. Please let me out! I don't like the dark….I don't like the dark!" I cried as my fists continued to bang on the door. _

"_I'm sorry Bella, I just can't stand to be near you right now", she answered me calmly, sliding the latch into place. _

The memory ended with little Bella sitting in a dark corner with her hands clasped together praying for strength to endure. The live memory disappeared as if a T.V. had been switched off. I was off the bed in seconds and in a corner of the room.

"How did you do that? What did you do to me?" I screamed in fear pushing myself as far against the glass wall as I could.

"Do to you?" Rosalie yelled at me. "We did nothing to you! You were the one that insisted Edward bite you. You were the one that cut open your own neck to tempt him so don't you come in here blaming us for your mistakes!"

"No", I shook my head. This couldn't be real. They had to be angels…what other explanation was there…except that I did watch my parents get murdered.

"No". I heard myself say as I searched my soul for any sign of redemption. I did. I watched them get murdered and I did nothing.

"no. ..no …no". I even encouraged them to take Phil too.

ALICE'S POV

I could see the future coming quickly. The windows in this room were about to explode. The family and I were stock still watching Bella have a melt down and I needed to warn them.

"The windows are about to blow", I said as fast and quiet as I could. I know they heard me but Bella was in her own world.

BELLA'S POV

Grandma was right! I deserved to be in the dark. I didn't deserve Heaven…I did nothing but be happy while my parents were murdered.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooo", I wailed from the depths of my soul, sliding down to the floor sobbing tearless sobs.

Why were there no tears? Who were these people? These people….that reminded me…I stopped my self pity crying and felt a new emotion roll over me. I was angry. I wanted revenge. I heard a growl from somewhere deep inside me that bubbled up louder and louder. I didn't notice the windows start to crack. I didn't notice the spider webs that were being made in them as I growled. All I could think about was who I was going to kill first.

Rosalie helped me see the light. I'd let her be first. My head lifted with a sadistic smile as I made eye contact with her and was pleased at what I saw. Fear stared back at me. I let out one fiercer drawn out snarl as I lunged at her. Three things happened simultaneously. The windows in the room burst into millions of little tiny pieces and flew in to the room around me, Esme, Alice and Edward shoved Rosalie to the ground covering her, and Carlisle, Emmett and the one I learned was Jasper smacked into me with the sound of a rock slide, the force propelling us out the now open windows.

All four of us landed in crouches two stories down. It was 3 against one and I wasn't going to back down.

"Bella, we don't want to hurt you", Carlisle tried to tell me showing me his palm as if holding me back. His body language showed otherwise as he remained in his crouch. My eyes quickly darted to the window we had come out of and saw the other 4 watching us. Quicker than anyone could react I grabbed Carlisle's wrist and flung him back up and into the window. Jasper and Emmett rushed me then, each grabbing an arm.

"Rip her apart and burn the pieces!" Rosalie yelled out the window.

"Noooo!" I heard yelled from the same room from Esme, Edward, and Alice. The boys were distracted long enough that with a flick of each wrist they both flew in different directions. I heard tree trunks crack as they were both stopped by a thick elm.

Edward seemed to float down to the ground with such grace I had to stop a moment and just watch.

"Bella I can explain everything to you. We are not like them. The ones that killed your parents…we are nothing like them. Please look at me. Let me explain."

My breathing was ragged and I was starting to tire. I don't know how I'd taken on 3 of these things but I had and I didn't have the will or the heart to take out Edward here and now. I backed up a few steps putting more distance between he and I. I'd once read in a history book that when fighting a war you couldn't win a strategic move is to retreat, regroup and come back and that's what I did.

"Stay away from me", I told him with as much hatred as I could muster before turning and running as fast as I could the opposite way.

The trees blurred past me at impossible speeds. I made jumps I shouldn't have been able to make. And then I caught the scent of something delicious. I didn't know what it was but my body was on autopilot. I no longer was in the captain's seat.

When I regained control I had a dead deer in my lap. What did I do? My mouth felt wet and I wiped it on the sleeve of my shirt. Red smears came away. I was horrified. A few days ago I was a vegetarian. I despised killing innocent animals for food and I had just drained the blood from this deer and it was no more. I killed it. Its eyes continued to stare at me accusingly. It knew what I had done. I stroked its head and told it I was sorry but I knew it was too late.

EDWARDS POV

I couldn't believe how easily Bella had taken us all out. I was last out the window because I thought I was the last one she would want to see. But apparently that wasn't the case because she didn't throw me like she had my family. She seemed calmer in my presence and I didn't understand why. I felt Alice jump from the room above and land beside me after Bella ran away. I didn't know if I should follow or not.

"Go Edward…she needs you", Alice placed a hand on my shoulder in comfort.

"I don't know what to do", I voiced my fears to my sister.

'Sometimes all a girl needs is to be held. The rest is gravy.' She replied in my mind.

I took off then following Bella at a safe distance. I don't think she would know how to detect me or know that I was following so I felt I had the advantage. When I finally caught up to her she was sitting in a clearing with a deer's head across her lap. She was stroking it telling it how sorry she was. Her expression was enough to kill me. She was utterly heart broken.

I didn't think she knew I was there. I was trying to be quiet when I heard a sorrowful, "I killed it".

I stepped out cautiously from my spot and took the deer from her. I carried it into the woods and buried it like we usually do. When I came back she was still in the same spot. She looked up at me with the saddest expression. "I killed it".


End file.
